Sound of Silence

 Part 1

* Google searches “Days till 20 April 2020” *

“Can’t wait to be done with this place for good” I sigh, as I plop into a seat.  I’m taking this ugly yellow bus from today. I really miss the beautiful lemon yellow bus that I used to take before this one. It was on time on 99% of days, unlike this one, which is showing no signs of motion so far.

1715 hours. All the other buses in the queue have started their engines, while ours stands still, driver less. I’ve begun to doubt if this is actually the correct bus.

* Looks around for signs. Spots the name of my destination. *

“Okay this IS the one”

I sink into my seat further. Thankfully, the driver arrives.

“Okayyy I‘ll get to go home today woohoo” – I say mockingly. To my own self. Nobody laughs. Not even me.

The students and faculty that were killing time - chatting, breathing in the air, waiting outside – seemingly familiar with the ways of this bus - make their way in.

And then – there was him.

Last to board. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

He walked upto my seat, the one next to me being occupied only by my very chonky bag. He seemed hesitant when he pointed to it. I pulled my bag into my lap, vacating the seat. He sat there without uttering a word, the silence uninterrupted throughout the commute.

Not that I would have liked it otherwise.

**

I see him every working day now.

He often makes his way up to my seat. Same gesture. Same routine that follows. I wonder if I should strike up a conversation. Or if I should at least smile in recognition.

But we keep to ourselves.

A common destination. Same commute. Different starting points. We just happened to cross paths. We sit there, next to each other but very much absorbed in our own little worlds. Sharing silence.

Pretty much like life, isn’t it?

**

He doesn’t board the bus today.

Strange given that he hasn’t missed a day before.

Maybe he is taking the day off. I should really stop overthinking.

**

Update: He did board the bus, but from a different stop. He looks different. That’s a really bright jacket he is wearing.  And he has gotten a haircut.

Cute.

The seat beside me is taken. He makes way to the back of the bus.

Anyway I had shifted my focus, I was looking out of the window, to not seem too pleased to see him.

**

1715 hours. He hasn’t turned up. I do remember him boarding the bus in the morning though.

All other buses have left.

Even our bus is about to leave.

Do I tell the driver to wait?

(AND WAIT FOR WHO?? In case the driver asks?? I don’t even know his name. Or department, for that matter.)

The bus starts to move.

Oh boy.

I sink into my seat.

Suddenly it feels like someone/ something hit the side of the bus.

“Please stop, someone wants to board the bus” said one of the professors to the driver.

It was him. Finally made it. Out of breath.

He walked to the back of the bus.

I felt like I disappointed a stranger, if that was even possible.

**

It was an unusually exhausting day. I barely dragged myself to the bus. I leaned back in the seat. The usual, mechanical noise of the bus reduced to a soft murmur, a lullaby even. My eyes fighting a losing battle against sleep. It was only a matter of time before I drifted off completely.

Only to wake up with one of the jolts of the moving bus.

And also, the realisation -

It was him. In the seat next to me. 

But then it also dawned upon me -

In my sleep, I had leaned towards him. 

I straightened up, flustered, wanting to get out of that situation as soon as possible. I didn't even dare to look at him to gauge his reaction.

**

Winter. Rains. Winter rains. I hate them.

But what is happening right now has me cross. Absolutely pissed. Frazzled even before the work day has begun.

It's winter. It's raining. Morning but it's still dark as I make my way to the bus stop.

As usual I reach the bus stop on time. As usual, the bus is nowhere to be seen. I stand in the pouring rain, I wait. I'm cold and tired and angry. 10 minutes pass. 15 minutes pass. 20 minutes pass. A fellow bus boarder from my stop, who happened to reach there by car, offers me to sit in the car while we wait for the bus.

My feet, my socks, my shoes were soaking wet and I hesitated to accept her offer at first but gave in. 40 minutes passed. I wanted nothing but to go back home. But just then - the bus arrived. I was fuming. More so when I noticed that the window seats were wet because of the rain. I always go for window seats. Not today though. I held on to my big chonky bag and wished for the day to get over soon. But it was only the beginning. I spent my time sulking, sitting on the alley side seat.

He boarded the bus from his stop. He must've waited all this while in the rain too.

But today, I was way too bitter to be cheered up by his presence. 

Needless to say, I reached my destination late. I punched my attendance after the head of my department, just in time, just before I could've earned myself a pay cut. It was the HoD pointing out that I was late that stung me the most.

One of the worst work days, ever.

**

I made friends with the fellow bus boarder from my stop. Actually, she made friends with me. Now she sat on the seat next to me on all days. She was the talkative kind. She loved to talk, leaving little scope at times for me to even chip in. I'm trying to put this politely when I say this because I really don't enjoy talking much in the morning. I need my buffer time to wake up properly and that only happened by the time I began the work day - at 9AM everyday. I loved keeping all the time before that for my own self, for my own thoughts.

I missed the silence.

**

The masks are on. Covid has arrived. The masks clearly don't stop people from talking. The bus is abuzz with speculations of the university shutting down and the teaching and learning to go online. 

I did want my time with the University to end soon, but not like this.

I had the whole last day at University planned out and the Universe was refusing to cooperate.

**

The teaching and learning was shifted online. We were still working from the University though. The buses were now relatively empty. We were practicing social distancing - as best it could be practiced in a closed bus.

I still saw him everyday.

**

That fine evening, the inevitable happened. Work from home was to become the new normal, it was announced.

Strange, till earlier that day I had no idea that it will be the last time I get on that bus, last time I listen to the very Punjabi songs that driver bhaiya played….

...the last time I see him.

An unexpected, unsaid goodbye.

It was nice to share silence with a stranger. 

He seemed just like me.

[To be continued…..]