Can not forget those eyes

I can not forget those eyes,
That did not sleep a wink,
When I could not -
Turning and tossing restlessly,
Feverish, as about to sink.

I can not forget those eyes,
The ones I looked up to
Which always guided,
The way I should go.

I can not forget those eyes,
Those which mischievously
Conveyed things
Capable of which
Words will never be.

I can not forget those eyes
Weary, weak
Yet full of love
Would look for me,
In the crowd, it was me they would seek.

Those eyes,
That gleamed with happiness, pride
And dreams
For every little milestone
I passed by.

Those eyes that
Saw me grow,
Climb ladder of age
Shift stages of life -
Along them.
That visualised
A good future for me
And their lifelong presence,
Was what they would see.

I can not forget those eyes,
Some time down the lane
Left me to myself
Never to look back again.

Those eyes,
That looked down on me
I regret that their image
Is what I accepted myself
To be.

I can not forget those eyes,
That cried streams of tears
With me, for me, along
And their empathy
Didn't fade with years.
And those, I could never bear to see misty.

Those eyes,
That smiled, were glee
And I turned back to realise
They were not meant for me.

And those
That humiliated, disgusted
Sent shivers down my spine
I hope and pray and wish
Never again do they meet mine.

The images of
Those eyes -
I picked, collected, imbibed
Those pieces
came together
To form the mosaic :
I.

Nightmare

That something,
something inside you
resurfaces
(your consciousness? your soul? )
from beneath,
the many layers
of your mind.
You open your eyes
reluctantly,
seems like
the air has been
punched out of your guts
leaving you
gasping for breath.
You get up
dazed,

with a parched throat

and that uncomfortable giddiness.
That twinge 
in your stomach

confirms,

reminds you:

You were there.

Need to see the sea.

I wonder how being beside a sea feels. I wonder how experiencing it feels. I call it an experience, because, it must be one. What you interpret from the opening sentences is correct, I have never experienced that vast expanse of water, ever in my life. Many geographical terms collide with each other, up there in my head - continental shelf, waves, margin - when I think of it now and my worst nightmare is, that perhaps, when I actually get to witness the sea, these would be the first words that will crop up in my mind. 

On the brighter side, maybe not.

 I know it is probably stupid to think and over think about something that has not happened, and if I see my record of "leisure travel", chances are, it might not happen. But, this stupidity has been committed, many times over and I don't restrict it just to the thought of going to a sea shore ( I want to witness Aurora Borealis too! Another story.)

I have thoroughly imagined what being by the sea might feel. How even the air might bear witness to its presence : it must be fragrant with the salty smell of the sea and that of the wet sand at the beach and heavily laden with moisture. The sea would spread till the horizon, and you can gaze at its infinity, even beyond our " legitimate " nautical miles, without transgressing any rule. You can see your imprints in the soft sand and also watch them being washed away by the soft waves crashing at the shore, and wonder, about transience of human life and the futility of everything you had ever worried about. And how the sound of those waves might prove to be the best lullaby ever.The sound of children playing might invoke nostalgia. Seeing other people around might make you wonder about their story - have they run away from their monotony to this beautiful escape for the same reason as yours?
Will the beauty of the place be powerful enough to induce tears of joy? Will it help leave some of the baggage behind - to be carried away from you - as far as possible - to the horizon and beyond?

The sweet influence of nature! 
And surely, only nature has the answer to these questions - somewhere ahead in space and time. *fingers crossed*

:)