[Free writing: Knots]

 My brain is in knots.

I imagine my brain to be made wholly of knots - some might even say the imagery is close to the actual gyri and sulci, but a girl is trying to romanticise her twisted, abundant thoughts here - so let her be.

My brain. Made of knots - old and new. In a continuous tussle. Throbbing. Some knots easing easily, some gradually, some cementing stronger by the moment - these are dangerous. They're heavy, sharp, draw blood. They reside at the back of my head. Perennially - always there. Some strangling the whole mass of the mess my brain is. Some with loose ends, some charred.

Brain. Knots. Fried.

Brain. Knots. Untangle. I tried.

It is a full time job - you know? To pick on an end and try to unwind. Set it straight. The risk of complicating the knots further exists, so does running into ones you thought didn't exist in the first place. 

But on some days, when you take a break from all the winding and unwinding - something clicks, something shifts, all the pieces of the puzzle fall together in place and some knot somewhere straightens, seemingly on its own. It is a nice feeling. That momentary calm that washes over you is nice. 

I had a little moment today.