After Uncertainty

Uncertainty went by after teaching me the fact that it is a catalyst in the process of evolution, of change.

Life is definitely changing.. while some things are falling in place slowly, others are falling apart. The lesson has been taught but not yet assimilated. The pangs of restlessness, of despair can still be felt, in varying degrees. Letting go was never easy, would never be probably.. though I would love to prove myself wrong. 
The craving for a balance in every aspect of life, the obsession of the mind with the memories one considers dear..precious, the lament of the loss of all those cherished happy moments, of not being able to recreate them, relive them : nothing makes one lose their mind like these do.

Its sad to watch the things dear to you, which were once essential for your very existence, decay. What makes this painful is that it doesn't happen quickly - it takes its own time and you have to be a mute, helpless witness to this disintegration. You wish it never existed in the first place. You wish to see it die quickly but you are deceived by your own emotions and this thought is enough to well up your eyes.
You wish time goes by fast and lands you to a safer, happier place.

And rarely you come across people you can open up to, who listen and understand without judging.
Life's changing - so are those effortless conversations with friends, which now seem forced, unnatural.

Between all this chaos,these hard lessons, you neglect what you have now. Faith and gratitude are the last things on your mind. The more you chase the things you don't have or the people you want to be with - the more they seem to go away. You don't cease to obsess with the empty spaces and neglect the blessings too. You fail to turn around and notice the people who are still there for you. Amidst this storm, you forget the bliss of stillness.
It seems a big mess ( even sounds like one!)

But then, as uncertainty leads to something as beautiful as evolution, maybe restlessness will lead to peace and decay will lead to a new creation?

I just hope that I'll have the strength to make a difference, a positive one.

To a new, and hopefully - a happier life ahead :)